Why We Keep Loving Even After Heartbreak

Why does love feel so good and so awful when it ends? In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Justin Garcia, evolutionary biologist, sex researcher, and Executive Director of the Kinsey Institute, to talk about the biology and psychology of love, dating, intimacy, and breakups. We get into modern dating culture, open relationships, and what science says about why we cheat, fall in love, and keep coming back for more. Dr. Garcia’s new book The Intimate Animal is available January 27, 2026. Pre-order here: https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/justin-r-garcia-phd/the-intimate-animal/9780316594035/ Chapters: 00:00 – Intro 02:25 – Why intimacy is a survival instinct 06:43 – Are we built for monogamy? 10:30 – The dating app dilemma: endless choice vs. meaningful connection 15:48 – Situationships, commitment, and confusion 19:05 – Infidelity and secrecy: what cheating really reveals 24:17 – Open relationships and ethical non-monogamy 29:55 – The science of breakups and withdrawal 35:22 – “No contact” after a breakup: helpful or harmful? 38:47 – How to approach dating with anxiety or insecurity 42:01 – Misattribution of arousal: sex researcher tricks for first dates 46:33 – Dr. Garcia’s personal love story and how it shaped the book 50:10 – Why we come back to love — even after heartbreak 53:30 – Wrap-up and where to find the book More About Dr. Justin Garcia: Bio: https://kinseyinstitute.org/about/staff/executive-director-justin-garcia.html Singles in America Study: https://www.singlesinamerica.com/ Kinsey Institute: https://www.kinseyinstitute.org/ Subscribe to the Hardcore Self Help Podcast Website: https://duffthepsych.com Contact: https://duffthepsych.com/contact Email: [email protected] If you enjoyed this conversation, please like, comment, and subscribe. New episodes drop weekly, covering real talk on mental health, relationships, and self-improvement.